What England players will be doing during Euro 2008 this month:
1. Calling David Beckham to see if they can come crash at his pad in L.A. on holiday.
2. Watching their WAGS spend their money.
3. Seeing if Sven Goran Eriksson can help them obtain dual citizenship to play for Mexico.
4. Finding footage from the 1966 World Cup to re-live the glory days of English football.
5. Cursing Croatia.
6. Consoling John Terry.
7. Helping Fabio Capello learn English.
8. Preparing to crash out of 2010 World Cup qualifying.
9. Convincing themselves that they are still an international superpower.
10. Watching the tournament from their homes-just like you!
11. Boycotting a certain Sunday newspaper who’s “creative” hype deprived them (and England) of it’s certainty of qualifying for Euro08 under Svennis.
12. Worrying about meeting Mexico in W-C 2010 now Sven and his suport crew are against England….
13. Deciding that they will get their massive pay cheques anyway, so what the hell if they get to relax for the summer and fail to qualify for 2010?
I’ll go with playing FIFA 08 trying to recreate all the games they flushed down the toilet.
14. Going to the toilet at half